The chain of command.

By: Peemil.

Self-defence is important.

If a woman stabs a man in the balls with a pocket knife, like the crazy bitch in Battle Royale does to a chap who threatens her with a crossbow, and after a misfire which grazes the side of her face that sends her into a murderous rage, where she stabs the said poor bastard with a pocket knife right in the gonads after a tussle in a copse of trees; most try hard lesbian, feminist academics, who are intent on taking the fun out of bloody everything- for the sake of having everyone talking about the state of their cunts all day- would say that this is an appropriate reaction for a woman, oppressed by a patriarchal society, emasculating the oppressive dominant discursive hegemony.

What complete and utter cods!

The reason that she attacked him in that fashion, was that given her relative position to his body- on the ground, straddling his hips, face forward and away from him- this was the only reasonable attack that would guarantee disabling her enemy.

What was she supposed to do? Stab him in the thighs? Give him a few cuts on the calf? Or simply, give the poor confused bastard a pedicure with the tip of her pocket knife with a psychopathic grin on her face?

Maybe she should have just pulled out an Ipod, some battery powered portable speakers, and un-girdling him, sat down beside his cowering figure and played Kylie Minogue's "I believe in you," while clapping like a retard at a circus.

Although stabbing someone in the jewels lacks a certain class- A true psychopath would stab him once in the balls, and then would have leapt up, grabbed his hair in their fist and slit his trembling throat- attacking someone by repeatedly stabbing their nuts, is most undoubtedly, an efficient way to end any threatening situation.

Effective self-defense is the safest way to ensure that you, and the people you love are safe. And hence, there is no shame in crushing your enemy where they are weakest.

In the interest of self-defence, I will not only give you those previous wise words, but I will also supply you with a guide to climbing a clock tower to pick of civilians, in the interest of your own self-preservation.

The following is what you'll need.


Above: A Gewehr 43. Perfect for keeping those bastards at bay.


Above: An Uzi for when the bastards get too close.


Above: If you survive repeated attacks from law enforcement and eventually run out of ammunition, you'll need a meat cleaver. Because there is nothing that people expect least than someone jumping out from behind them in a well thought out trap to stab them in the back with great brutality.


Above: A teddy bear. Because they suggested all this, so it's only reasonable they come along for the ride. And let's face it, when the chips are down, you're probably going to need a cuddle.